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What was I thinking…what
Insanity had overtaken mind?
How did I imagine anything
Good could come of lighting
A dream on fire, as if it were
Votive candle’s prayer?
I pushed Reality out a window
Off cliff, over bridge…slammed
Door to Reason, and flew…literally.
The flight seemed magical…how
Would I pay plastic debt I’d
Casually put signature to?
I didn’t care.
Upon landing, the island heat
Sucked the air out of me…Paradise
Seemed oddly intemperate…
Harbinger of lava’d hell?
Nothing was as expected…surreal
Quality of exiting taxi, making my way
To entrance of condo remains today.
I wore flattering dress (floral print
Blended with surrounding tropical
Blooms), clutched leather briefcase…
Picture of professionalism, yet
Pretty as a model.
There were no locked gates
Security guard simply smiled…why
Didn’t someone, something stop me?
Trip had stamp of approval, yes?
Plush carpeted corridor was
Longest mile I would ever
Journey, as I passed each door
Pulse banging in ears, legs rubbery.
I’d hungered for this day, pictured it
For 25 years, never believing it waited
In Future. I rang the bell…
It pealed wealth, reclusive fame.
Would he smile on me with love’s
Eyes…be gracious, grateful for
Door remained closed…
How was it possible he could speak
From behind it…pretending he was
Servant who’d deliver message?
Having read my letters, how was
It fathomable he wouldn’t realize
I’d recognize voice which had kept
My heart alive since childhood…
From world and time afar?
Evening crashed like storm of
Century…why was I surprised to
Be alone in foreign city, abandoned
By make-believe hero?
©Ennle Madresan, 2019 ~ All rights reserved.