Theme Reveal, Thank-you & Royal Pi

I wanted to thank everybody who has treated me like royalty, since opening this blog—I’m WOW’d by the support and wonderful comments I’ve received.  WordPress is a great neighborhood to live in.

As with anything else I write here, I say that sincerely—which now leads me to offer an apology in advance:  this weekend I’ll be having dinner guests (see poem which follows), and it’s likely I’ll be a less attentive reader of your posts, and not as “comment-y” in the boxes…due to the necessary preparations.  I rarely have guests, and I’ve been longing to dress up my blessed table…and serve actual (not imaginary) people🙂

Final note:  I had initially signed up for April’s A to Z Challenge with no theme in mind…figured I’d just go “Eclectic”, as usual🙂  But I’ve felt immensely blessed of late, JOY returning…so I think it’s only suiting that I announce “Faith” as my theme.  Some days (& alphabet letters) may be more challenging than others, which means posts could reflect mercurial moods…but all in the context of my genuine, authentic Faith.  Hopefully it will go well and I won’t completely lose my mind…by doing April’s NaPoWriMo/GloPoWriMo at the same time.

Again, my huge and heartfelt gratitude to EVERYONE who visits here…you have been harbingers of spring and a much improved year And now, the poem:

Royal dinner guests


Who might become good


Invitation to blessed table, mine

For, who knows, I may be entertaining angels unaware.

“Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it.”  Hebrews 13:2, NASB (Bible Verse:

©Ennle Madresan, 2019 ~ All rights reserved.

The Pi-Archimedes verse is:
○ a hexastich, a poem in 6 lines.
○ measured by the number of words in each line 3-1-4-1-5-9 to match the numerical sequence of the first six digits of Pi.
○ unrhymed.

Table setting Image:

Untenable Questions

V.J.’s Weekly Challenge #39: Unanswerable

V.J. invites us to respond to her prompt “Unanswerable”.  Click the link above for more information.

I’m not bothered by what is

Unanswerable for some…such as, what

Follows when our life on Earth ends.

Faith satisfies me, removes all fear…

My true Home awaits in Heaven.

Faith doesn’t answer every question.

What wearies me, what I find

Unanswerable, is how people can do

Horrific, reprehensible evil to others…

In particular, to their own family, friends. 

Faith’s reply: “we live in Adam’s fallen world”.

It disgusts me that abusers offer their

Own past abuse as acceptable reason for

Scarring individuals known, or strangers.

Why do they deserve compassionate

Understanding…some special mercy?

Because my God metes out both mercy

And judgement…and, “His thoughts, ways

Are not as man’s”. (Isaiah 55:8)

I was abused, I didn’t become a serial killer

Or embark on path of any criminal activity.

What continues to stymie comprehension…

The aching unanswered questions in my life:

Why would my mother despise me?

How could my parents devalue me…

Accord me status of servant…rather than

Looking, and seeing a child…theirs…a gift?

I would have done anything for their

Love, but it did not exist.

The church teaches we must forgive

“Imperfect” parents because they have

Their own issues, baggage, wounds.

Response which embittered me: “they did

The best they knew how”.  Then, why

Wasn’t my best ever good enough for them?

Different standards, apparently.

I’m waiting to hear that I get a pass for

Remembering them with no affection.

For all of us, God’s grace requires not perfection.

©Ennle Madresan, 2019 ~ All rights reserved.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the LORD. Isaiah 55:8

What’s In A Name?

V.J.’s Weekly Challenge #38: What’s In a Name?

VJ asks, “What’s in your blog’s name?”

This is a new blog, after stepping away for a break.  2018 was full of change and loss, dominoes crashing one into another…no reason, rhyme detectable…and taking a toll.  I seesawed between talking positively, and a bleak spiraling down as I scrambled to grasp thimble full of faith to refocus and right my cardboard boat.  I dreaded 2019, had no hope things would improve. 

I continued setting small goals to get me through each week, and burrowed into binge-reading novels.  Soon I felt that although it was a benign pastime, there was danger of it becoming an insular non-response to life…so I considered my “go-to”, blogging.  It’s surprising how even when emotionally whipped, our deep passions can stir dry bones…writing has never been difficult for me.  I pondered whether it was worth paying for a blog—could I make a commitment to stick with it past the trial period?

The title, Abandoned Amenities, reflects my rather grim current view of society.  It strikes me that people have largely discarded niceties essential to maintaining vitality of even casual relationships.  Due to lack of time, interest, energy, people seem rushed, pressured to attend to what’s imperative: work/paying bills, buying groceries (or subscribing to trendy meal delivery services), meeting family needs, sleep.  Packing all this into 24 hours leaves no time to dawdle in grocery aisles chatting with strangers; or to accept invitations from mere acquaintances—only the obligatory others

I suffer a “Mayberry mentality”, and it disturbs me greatly that hardly anyone knows the reference anymore.  It’s old-fashioned, idealistic—based on a slower-paced way of life, an era marked by conventional, traditional values (yet nothing like “Stepford Wives”).  There was less atmosphere of fear and distrust; people enjoyed being friendly, kind and helpful; respect was the “default”; and being “neighborly” offered a mutual sense of security that “no man was an island” when trouble paid visits. 

Technology, for all its advantages, has consumed us.  Artificial Intelligence… Seriously??  I doubt it’s a good thing to depend on over-much.  Busy people, once criticized for constantly checking their watches, now walk around staring at phones they’re helpless to put down.  We can do almost anything online, even have sessions with a psychotherapist. 

I consider being truly present with others a fundamental “amenity” of well-being and the nurtured soul.  But the element of focused attention is rapidly falling away, and contributes to the rise in depression, anxiety, alienation, substance abuse and physical ailments.  Please understand—if one is called to a life of solitude for whatever reason, I respect that. But if we choose to be with people, we should BE WITH them—and strive to minimize distractions.

In 2018 I felt abandoned during an unexpected season of decreased independence, and my response was to pull deeper within myself—similarly abandoning the world.  If I was going to blog again, I needed to be free to write more candidly than ever before—no sweaty straining to be positive and encourage readers unless it was genuine, authentic.  Maintaining an “all is well” attitude could be characterized as an “amenity”—but if false, it can enslave, become toxic…in which case it should be abandoned, I believe.

IF spring brings restoration, healing, confirmation that I’ve been in an uncomfortable but temporary, familiar dim valley which will bring a rich harvest of lessons learned, wisdom gained, and maybe exhilarated gratitude and gladness…my blog title may become less relevant.  But by then it won’t matter (few readers pay attention to blog titles and taglines, I’ve found over the years).

The header image I chose is an abandoned church.  Yet it reflects beauty as it remains standing…as though waiting for tide to turn, for people to hunger for spiritual connection…knowing they’ll wander back to worship and seek fellowship, and allow God to rebuild tattered hearts, psyches.  That’s my raggedy hope, lukewarm prayer for myself…that my stretched-out-of-shape faith will be miraculously refurbished in 2019.  Anything’s possible for God, the Bible says. 

My faith is honest and down to earth, thus I can share unashamedly that, recently, I’ve joked with God that parting the Red Sea was no big deal for Him…but patching me up could be a challenge  This is neither disrespect or irreverence—“We” have worked long and hard to build this level of trust…and humor doeth good like a medicine.

Long response to VJ’s question…now you know me better than you did yesterday 🙂

©Ennle Madresan, 2019 ~ All rights reserved.

Bright Vials of ‘Maybe’s’

It was never going to be a smooth ride

Naive, I stepped right into Love’s wormhole

Believing for fairness, just times and tides

Collecting bright vials filled with “maybe’s”

But Fate had beaucoup trials slated…

Consequences dependent not on whether

I faithfully paid my tithes, attended church

But which way I’d decide at every crossroads.

I was ill-equipped to make wise choices.

Will the voices inside ne’er cease harsh chide?

©Ennle Madresan, 2019 ~ All rights reserved.

Final Trek

What do you See? Feb/26/2019

The last mile.

All considered, I’ve been strong…

If slow and full of murmuring.

His Light has gone before me

Holy lantern of Faith’s mystery…

Glimmered moments in the dark.

I’m moved by recollection of my

Baal-perazim*, God’s faithfulness.

Vision almost gone, I’ve often

Lost focus…but the haze tonight is

Exquisite sapphire, horizon bejeweled.

Nothing is as I’d imagined, expected.

Accustomed to life’s shadowed fringes

I don’t mind solitary journey…the

Lack of competitive moral judgment

Is a relief on this final trek…

I don’t feel cold in winter.

Ahead is the Kingdom, looking

Just like castles I dreamed as a girl.

In my Father’s house are many

Mansions…and I am nearly Home.

©Ennle Madresan, 2019 ~ All rights reserved.

*Ba’al-Perazim (Hebrew Owner of Breakings Through) was a place in ancient Israel. It was the scene of a victory gained by David over the Philistines (2 Samuel 5:20; 1 Chronicles 14:11).