Laundry, Love, and Lawsuits

This compilation of prompts offers another peek into the wacky wonderful world of “Ryan and Rita’s” enduring marital bliss ~ ♥Ennle

Looking into laundry basket

I frown, hold up Ryan’s shirt…

“Is this lipstick on your collar?”

Glancing up from his book, “You

Haven’t worn lipstick since we

Had guests, ages ago”.

I roll eyes, “my shade is lighter”.

“Looks lovely on you”, he returns

To his reading as I examine odd

Stain:  “I don’t think I can get this

Out if I don’t know what it is…”.

He ignores me.

“In some states you can still file a

Lawsuit for infidelity…” (is he listening?).

Grinning, he sets book aside, reaches

For suspect shirt, peers at it.  “Alright

Judge, I confess:  while you were chatting

Up the produce manager when we shopped

Yesterday, I went to the bakery…for bread

Giving into temptation, I purchased and

Ate a donut, raspberry-filled—DNA in the

Reddish stain, per defense expert, is

Likely a mix:  raspberry jelly and saliva

From the Defendant.” 

He pauses (is she laughing?).

“A lawsuit for infidelity in such

Cases would be a stretch…but if you

Prevailed, what would you win?

Having no wealth, no Stradivarius

Violin, I could only hock my guitar…

Love, you’d be left without a song.”

I’m chuckling…but can’t resist a

Dig: “How could you sneak off

To get a raspberry-filled donut

And not buy ME one?”

He pulls me onto his lap for finale:

“We, the Jury, find the defendant…

Guilty, ‘felony thoughtlessness'”.

Asks, “What’s my sentence, Judge?”

I offer sexy smile…“Time served, and

Restitution: donuts—a dozen”.

©Ennle Madresan, 2019 ~ All rights reserved.


Funny Ha-ha

Prompt:  prank, insurance, orangutan

Husband thinks we need more insurance…

I asked if he’s planning to bump me off

Collect a boatload of money, and head

To the tropics with a cute young barista.

“Just keepin’ you on your toes, Love”

Was Ryan’s reply.  But he’s serious about

Additional coverage.  I dutifully called our

Agent, we drove into town for a sit-down.

“Grady” is young, and carries an old man’s

Soul…he looks like an orangutan, which makes

It hard for me to maintain sober demeanor.

I think it’s the red tint he’s putting on his

Hair…for reasons I don’t even want to guess.

Anyway, feeling feisty, I’d suggested to Ryan

That he prank Grady—act like he really was

Thinking of doing me in for a goodly payoff.

He didn’t want to…a former police detective

He’s seen cases where a “joke” lands

Somebody in the big house.

When we left Grady’s office I told Ryan I

Hadn’t had nearly enough fun, and he

Needed to treat me to an ice cream sundae. 

He obliged of course…because, technically

He’s now considered “over-insured”…a

Prime candidate for “early death”…by homicide.

©Ennle Madresan, 2019 ~ All rights reserved.


Getting Jerry Out (3TC) (Dull and slow-moving and stolid; like an ox)–WordWeb)

Today’s prompt: shortbread, cannon, guru

My niece’s husband is a bovine sort, but has

A heart of gold; she loves him, that’s what

Matters…but getting him out of his recliner

To go do something, anything…good grief.

There was a historical festival scheduled

In a nearby park, so Kate and I ganged up

On him:  “It’ll be fun, Jerry—vintage

Cannons and stuff,” I said.

“And food, hon…probably shortbread

Your favorite,” Kate lured.

A smile snail-crawled across his big face.

“Mmm,” he said, “okay, I’ll go.”

We arrived amid the large, energetic crowd.

Jerry ambled toward the large cannon

While Kate and I admired gorgeous

Tapestries, musing about women in the

Middle Ages plying needles and floss

While waiting for their men to return

From Crusades or some other adventure

Or mischief…victorious, gravely injured

Dead, or dead drunk.

We met up with Jerry after awhile, all of us

hungry, and bought humongous steak burgers

With fries…but Jerry still had shortbread on

The brain and wanted to scout out a booth.

Seemed like we walked miles, seeing scones

And other treats…but no shortbread.  Jerry

Finally settled for scones, and we sat down

On painted benches to rest.  Kate asked her

Husband if he’d enjoyed himself, and whether

People had seemed historically knowledgeable.

“A few were,” he shrugged, “it was okay…

There was one guru claiming to have a

Doctorate in weapons history.”

“A guru?” asked Kate, “isn’t that kind of

Oxymoronic—a spiritual leader who’s an

Expert in weaponry?”

Jerry grinned slowly, “now who’s the moron?

He didn’t say anything about having personal

Proficiency with them…just his field of study.”

I was laughing mutely behind my hand…

Kate and I were Scrabble addicts, obsessed

With words…and part of the fun was inviting

Jerry to join us, and beating him soundly.

He’d caught me giggling… “listen, Smarty English

Major, I know both ‘oxymoronic’ and ‘moron’, okay?”

“Fine, fine, I was merely entertained by the wordplay…

Quite brilliant, Jer.”

He smirked, turned to Kate.  “Y’all ready to go?

I want to stop by Piggly Wiggly on the way home

Get a tin of shortbread .”

©Ennle Madresan, 2019 ~ All rights reserved.